


I Don't Owe You An Explanation

by herondick



Category: The Last Hours Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Domination, F/M, Jealousy, Kinky, leading into smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:28:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28192467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herondick/pseuds/herondick
Summary: James and Cordelia are married, and Cordelia does something to make James jealous. He has taken the gracelet off, causing him to realize his feelings for Cordelia.
Relationships: Cordelia Carstairs/James Herondale
Comments: 2
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: all characters belong to Cassandra Clare.   
> Tumblr: @herondick

James slammed the door to their bedroom behind him, not caring if anyone heard. Their room was far enough away from anyone else’s in the Institute, after all. His parents had suggested this room after they were married, claiming the newlywed couple would want some privacy.

But what his parents didn’t know was that most nights, James slept on the couch in the corner of the room, never running the risk of making Cordelia uncomfortable by sleeping in the bed with her. They didn’t know that he and Cordelia only spoke to each other as friends, not husband and wife. They didn’t know this entire marriage was a sham to save her reputation, which she had thrown away to save him.

A few weeks ago, he had finally gained the courage to take the bracelet off. Finally, after years of putting up with Grace’s bullshit, he had freed himself of her hold on him. Once he had taken that damned bracelet off, it had all hit him at once. His love for Cordelia and her selflessness.

He didn’t remember much from that night. He only remembered stumbling aimlessly around the street of London, feeling as if he were losing himself completely. It was then he remembered that he had a home to go to, and that home included Cordelia, his wife. He had walked into their bedroom that night, with every intention of making her his in every way. But one look at her innocent face put him on the couch, once again.

Over the last few weeks, there had been many nights where he watched her sleep, craving to lay beside her and hold her. He wanted nothing more than to feel her body next to his. He wanted to know what she felt like beneath him as he kissed her. He wanted to hear her moan into his ear as he moved inside of her. But he would never actually do these things, because she didn’t love him.

“James?” Cordelia asked, pulling him from his thoughts. She was curled up on the bed with a book in her hand. Her hair fell down her shoulders in long tendrils that James desperately wanted to bury his hands in. “What’s wrong?”

James felt his skin heat up as she sat up in the bed, causing the comforter to fall from her chest and shoulders. Since they had been married, she had always worn rather modest nightgowns to bed. They had always covered her body, and he had never seen anything more than her calves beneath her nightclothes, but tonight it was different.

This particular nightgown caused James to grit his teeth and curl his hands into fists. It was nearly see through, allowing James to see the imprint of Cordelia’s nipples through the material. It was low-cut, revealing her cleavage, and the sleeves were made of white lace, reaching just below her elbows.

Not able to properly gather his thoughts, James said without thinking, “That nightgown is new.” His voice was low, and he didn’t recognize himself. He took a step farther into the room, forcing his hands into his pockets.

Cordelia flushed slightly, looking down at herself. “Yes, it is. I bought it this afternoon while I was out shopping with Anna.” She threw the book aside, swallowing deeply. “It is the only clean one I have. I hope you don’t mind me wearing it.”

James bit his lip. “I don’t mind at all. In fact, I quite like it. It looks good on you.” Fighting back his rising desire, he strode over to the couch. He sat down, stretching out his long legs in front of him. “Cordelia, you may sleep in whatever you like. You can sleep naked if you want to, I just want you to be comfortable.”

Cordelia flushed even darker, her skin almost glowing in the witchlight in their bedroom. She fidgeted with the comforter as she asked, “Why did you slam the door when you came in? Has something happened?”

James looked at her directly then, staring deep into her eyes. He hadn’t meant to slam the door, but his jealousy had overtaken him. He leaned back onto the couch, feeling the cushions against his back. “Nothing happened,” he said, forcing his voice to sound calm. “Sometimes I tend to forget how strong I am as Nephilim.”

Cordelia rolled her eyes. “James, I’m not stupid. You were fuming when you walked in. Tell me. What happened to make you so angry?”

James chewed the inside of his cheek. Should he tell her what Matthew had told him? Would it make her uncomfortable?

Trying to calm his emotions, James spoke freely. “I went to see Matthew today,” he said, meeting Cordelia’s dark eyes. “He told me some things... about the two of you.”

Cordelia started, squaring her shoulders against her husband’s gaze. “And what did he tell you?”

“He said the two of you have been spending a lot of time together. So much time, in fact, that you even kissed him today,” James said, not bothering to hide the jealousy and anger creeping into his voice.

His wife just stared at him, her mouth opening and closing as she struggled for words. “It wasn’t- it wasn’t like that, James. The kiss didn’t mean anything-” she stopped herself as James rose from the couch, walking towards the bed.

“I know none of this means anything to you. This marriage. All of it.” He spread his arms wide to prove his point. “But do you know how embarrassing it is to have you kissing my parabatai? What others will think if they see it? Despite it all, you’re still my wife, Cordelia. I’m not going off and kissing any woman who tickles my fancy.”

Cordelia flushed a shade of red that could only be interpreted as anger. “What does it matter to you, James? Yes, we’re married. Husband and wife. But you never, ever touch me. You hardly even look at me.” She glanced away from him, her red hair shielding her face. “I don’t owe you an explanation for my actions.”

That was it. James was tired of these games, and he was tired of holding in his feelings. “I haven’t touched you because you don’t love me back. I would never risk making you uncomfortable like that. But Daisy, you have no idea how much it hurts me to hear my parabatai talk about kissing you. You have no idea what it is like pretending I don’t want you. Every night, I sleep on that damned couch, when all I really want to do is curl up with you in that bed. You have no idea how much it hurts knowing you don’t feel the same way.”

The room was quiet, except for the sound of their breathing. James could hear the fire crackling in the grate, and he was beginning to regret everything he said. But then, Cordelia spoke.

“You- you love me?” she stammered, shaking her head slightly. “James-” she began, but broke off as tears began to stream down her face. She wiped them away in frustration, meeting his eyes from across the room. “I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. It hurts me just as much to know you’re sleeping on that couch, when I crave to feel you next to me. I kissed Matthew because- because, well, I long to feel the touch of someone other than myself.”

James took a step closer to the bed. He was so close now he could make out the soft planes of her face and the slender curve of her shoulders. He wanted to kiss every part of her, but not until she said the words. “If you want me to touch you, Daisy, all you have to do is tell me.”

Her lips curved up into a smile then. “Come here,” she said. “Show me how much you really want me.”


	2. What Happens If I Do This?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pure Jordelia smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.   
> Tumblr: @herondick

Her lips curved up into a smile then. “Come here,” she said. “Show me how much you really want me.”  
Cordelia felt her skin flush at the hungry look in James’s golden eyes. He walked up to the bed, leaning down so he could brace himself in front of her. They were face to face, and she could smell the night air on him. She could feel his warm breath on her face. This was the closest they had been since their wedding. By the Angel, what have I gotten myself into? she thought.

“Are you sure about this?” James asked. He reached a hand up and traced her lips with a callused finger. “Because once we start, my Daisy, it will be very hard for me to stop. I’ve wanted you for so long...” He broke off as he continued his finger down her jaw and neck.

Cordelia tipped her head back, craving more of his touch. “I’m sure about this, Jamie. We’re married, and I want you. But, most importantly, I love you.”

She could almost hear the snap as his control broke. He flattened his hand on her chest and pushed her down onto the bed. “There are no words to say how much I love you, Cordelia Herondale,” he said, smiling to himself softly. He was looking down at her with lust filled eyes. “Damn, I love the sound of that. Cordelia Herondale.”

Cordelia brought her legs up, bending them at the knee. She spread them teasingly, knowing she had no undergarments on underneath her nightgown. She watched as James’s eyes went right to the spot where she wanted him most.

“We’re long overdue for our wedding night, husband,” she said with a smile on her face. “Make me yours.”

James laid his body on top of hers, situating his hips between her legs. “Oh, don’t worry, my wife. I have every intention of doing that,” he said, leaning down to kiss her. He trailed his lips down her neck, stopping in one spot to bite and suck. “I also have every intention of taking my sweet time.”

Cordelia felt like her skin was burning. Every night she had shared this room with James, she had dreamt of this. She had imagined his hands on her body, and his lips on her skin. She had fantasized about how he would feel between her legs and inside her, and she felt breathless at knowing tonight her dreams would come true. Finally.

“Don’t be a tease, love,” she murmured. She had never really been a patient woman, and tonight was no exception.

James chuckled. He pulled away from her and sat on his heels. He reached up and slowly began to undo the buttons on his shirt. He licked his lips once as he said, “Move back on the bed. And, my sweet Daisy, it would be in your best interest if you didn’t tell me what to do tonight.”

Cordelia sucked in a breath, preparing to say something snarky back to him, but in the end she listened. She moved her body back until her head hit the pillows. “What now?”

James took his shirt off, revealing his runed and scarred chest. He reached down and unlatched his belt, pulling it off his waist in a swift motion. “Do you trust me?”

Cordelia swallowed. “Of course I trust you,” she whispered.

James leaned over her then. “Good,” he murmured as he brought her hands up above her head, tying them together with the belt. “So I can take my time pleasuring you without interruption.”

Cordelia struggled against the leather binding her, but she found that it seemed to grow tighter as she struggled. James really was good. “This isn’t fair. I want to touch you.”

It was true. She longed to run her hands over his strong body, memorizing the muscles and scars along his skin.

James gave a low chuckle. “Don’t worry, my dear. As long as you do what I say, you will be able to touch me as much as you want.”

“And what is it that you want me to do?” she asked.

James leaned down and whispered into her ear, “Be a good girl and do what I tell you.”

Cordelia felt her core tighten and heat up. “I- I think I can do that.” she stammered.

James began to kiss down her neck and chest, stopping once he got to the fabric of her nightgown. He looked up at her, his golden eyes twinkling in the witchlight. “Do you think or know, my love?”

Cordelia arched her back slightly, craving more of him. “I know I can be good,” she breathed, trying to sound convincing.

James said nothing in response. Instead, he reached down and pulled her nightgown up her body, not stopping until it reached her shoulders. Now, she was completely naked before him, and she felt her skin flush slightly at the thought.

James pulled away, running his eyes along her body, drinking all of her in. “You are so beautiful,” he whispered. He traced a finger down her chest, going between her breasts, following a trail all the way down her belly. “So warm and so soft. All mine.”

Cordelia’s shoulder blades had begun to ache at the position her hands were in, but she ignored it. “I’m yours, James. I’m all yours.” As if to back up her words, she spread her legs wider, moving her hips along to bed, craving for friction to help her meet her release. “Please,” she begged.

James went back to kissing her chest, moving down to her nipples. He used his teeth and tongue against them, causing Cordelia to arch her back into his mouth. “I love the way you react to me,” he said against her breast.

Cordelia moaned in response, not knowing exactly what to say. She was almost dizzy with pleasure. Her hair was pasted to her face with sweat. The spot between her legs was pulsing with each heartbeat, and all she wanted was James. But she wouldn’t give in. She would do whatever he said.

James continued down her body, licking and kissing down her belly. He stopped once he got to the curls at the apex of her thighs. With a grin, he flipped her over onto her stomach, and began licking her from behind.

Cordelia didn’t even try to stifle her moans. James used one hand to push her hips up to meet his mouth, and he used the other to push her back and shoulders down. Her hands were still bound above her, and she had not given up fighting against the belt. “Yes. Yes, James,” she moaned.

For a moment, James pulled away, and Cordelia felt the emptiness from his absence. “Hmm,” he hummed against her folds. “What happens if I do this?” he asked. Then, without warning, he stuck his tongue inside of her, and she buried her face in the pillows as she cried out in pleasure.

He added in his fingers, rubbing to bundle of nerves at the apex of her legs. Then, he would switch, plunging his fingers inside of her and using his tongue on her clit. It didn’t take very long for Cordelia to reach her climax, and she came on James’s tongue, arching her back and moving her hips against his mouth. “J-James. I love you so much,” she cried as she came down from her pleasure-high.

James moaned at the taste of her flooding his mouth. “My Daisy. My sweet Daisy. I love you so very much,” he said. His voice was low and dark, filled with desire. “But I want to look at you while I fuck you.”

With a swift motion, he flipped Cordelia back over so she way lying on her back. He reached up and undid the clasps on his belt, freeing Cordelia’s hands. “Touch me,” he moaned. “I need you to touch me.”

Cordelia grinned to herself. “That would be my pleasure,” she said. She ran her hands down his chest, stopping when she got to the waistband of his trousers. She quickly undid the button and pushed his pants down over his hips, allowing his cock to spring free.

Cordelia didn’t really know how to pleasure a man, but she followed her instincts. She knelt down on her knees in front of him, sticking her tongue out to flick against the tip of him. She slowly took the rest of him in her mouth, running her tongue along the base of him.

“Fuck, Daisy,” James groaned, moving his hand up to grab a fistful of her hair. “Just like that.”

She continued on, moving farther and farther down his length, even making herself gag as the tip of him reached her throat. Quickly, she pulled away, feeling embarrassed at her reaction. “I’m so sorry,” she said.

James brushed her hair out of her eyes. “No, no. I liked that,” he said. He moved his hand down to her chest, pushing her down so she was lying back against the pillows. “But we can finish that another time.”

James reached up and removed her nightgown, allowing his fingers to trace her skin as he did so. At the same time, Cordelia helped him out of his trousers, glorifying in the fact they were finally both naked in this bed, together. 

For years, Cordelia had loved James, always wanting nothing more than for him to be happy, no matter the pain it would cause her. Then, she moved to London, and there had been a glimmer of hope to be with him. She remembered the Whispering Room, wanting nothing more than to feel his body closer to hers, wanting to feel him burn with her. She also remembered, no matter how much she wanted to push the thought down, how he had looked at Grace, like she was a gift from the Angel.

But now, Cordelia saw nothing of that expression in James’s face. His eyes were only focused on her, and they showed the desire and lust for the feeling of her body around his. “Just relax, Daisy.”

He teased her entrance with a smirk on his face. “Stop,” Cordelia protested. “I want you now,” she said, lining his cock up with her entrance.

Slowly, he pushed his way into her, letting her adjust to him. Inch by inch, Cordelia could only focus on where their bodies were joined. All she could feel was him, and it was glorious. She had wanted him for so long.

“Oh, James,” she moaned as he pushed into her. “I love you. I love you.”

“You’re mine,” he groaned, and he pushed all the way into her, causing a scream to erupt from Cordelia’s throat. “Goddamn, you feel so good around me,” he moaned into her ear as he began to move inside her.

Cordelia tightened her arms and legs around him as he began to thrust into her. After a few moments of adjusting to him, she used her hips to meet his thrusts, which made James groan into her ear. “Mine, mine. All mine.”

Cordelia arched her back into his chest, reveling in the feeling of her breasts pressed against his chest. “Oh, James. Yes, yes. More,” she moaned, not able to control the words coming out of her mouth.

In response, James reached up behind her knees and pushed them down so her thighs were pressed against the bed. This new position allowed James to go deeper into Cordelia which caused loud moans to come from her full lips.

“Oh, fuck! Yes, yes!” she screamed.

Cordelia felt her climax building, but she wasn’t going to let go until James did. She bit her lip, fighting her pleasure down as she said, “Cum with me, my love.”

James buried his faced into Cordelia’s neck as he began to thrust harder into her. “So good. You feel so good. I love you. I love you. Mine,” he moaned, and he finally came, spilling himself inside of Cordelia.

She let herself go at the feel of him inside of her, throwing her head back as her orgasm washed over her. “James!” she moaned, not caring if anyone heard.

She didn’t know how long they laid together, kissing and touching each other. After a while, James pulled away, moving to lay beside Cordelia on the bed. “I love you,” he said again, moving his hand up to trace it along Cordelia’s face. “More than my life. More than anything, Cordelia.”

She traced the sharp angles and planes of his face with her fingers. “James Herondale, I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember.”

James kissed her cheek, then her mouth. “I have dreamt of this night for so long. Of being inside you. Making you mine.”

Cordelia felt a pang of heat warm her core. “Was I a good girl, James? Can I touch you?”

James let out a breath. “Touch me, Daisy. I’m yours. Forever yours.”

Cordelia would have the rest of their lives to touch him and love him. She would have forever to show him how much he meant to her. She would use her body every night to worship him, and claim him as hers. She had never been happier.

**Author's Note:**

> THIS WILL HAVE A PART 2, WHICH WILL BE ALL KINKY SMUT. Stay tuned...


End file.
